How to Rate Your Marriage Honestly (Out of 10)

We rate restaurants, phone chargers and the taxi driver who took the scenic route. But we rarely stop to rate the relationship we spend most of our lives in. Giving your marriage a number can feel strange — even a little rude — but done honestly, it’s one of the quickest ways to check in with yourself.

Step 1: Rate the last few months, not the wedding day

Your wedding photos are not evidence. Neither is that one terrible week in March. Think about the typical day over the last three to six months. How did it feel to come home?

Step 2: Look at five things

• Communication: Can you bring up something difficult without it turning into a war?
• Respect: Do you both feel taken seriously — about money, family, careers and the thermostat?
• Teamwork: Does it feel like you’re on the same side against life’s problems?
• Fun: When did you last laugh together until it hurt?
• Safety: Do you feel emotionally and physically safe? This one isn’t negotiable.

Step 3: Pick your number

Here’s our completely unscientific (but weirdly accurate) scale:

• 1–2: Something is seriously wrong. Please talk to someone you trust or a professional.
• 3–4: More bad days than good. Worth an honest conversation — possibly with a counsellor in the room.
• 5: Perfectly mid. Like airport food. Not terrible, but you deserve better.
• 6–7: A good, real marriage with real problems. Most of us live here.
• 8–9: Lovely. You still share the last samosa and mean it.
• 10: Either you’re newlyweds, or you’ve figured out something the rest of us should study.

Step 4: Compare (without judging)

A number on its own doesn’t mean much. That’s why we built RateMyMarriage: you rate your marriage anonymously and immediately see how it compares with everyone else’s answers. No names, no emails, no sign-up.

Rate your marriage now → It takes about a minute.

Important

If your marriage involves fear, threats or violence, a rating is not the right tool. Please reach out to a local helpline or emergency services.